Classes for the Esmays
Dean and Rosemary Esmay have a habit of taking jabs at each other on their blogs.
Rosemary:
Classes for Men at The Learning Center for Adults
- Class 1: How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays. Step by Step,
with Slide Presentation.- Class 2: The Toilet Paper Roll. Does it Change Itself?
- Class 3: Is It Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of
Lifting the Seat and Avoiding the Floor/Walls and Nearby
Bathtub? Group Practice.…
Dean (in response):
…
- Class 4: Summarizing Conversations. How to relate an entire conversation you just had with your sister, mother, or best friend in 25 words or less. 10 week intensive training course, meeting 3 nights a week. Advanced students only.
- Class 5: God’s Intended Purpose For The Remote Control. Runs most week nights from 7-10, call ahead.
- Class 6: PMS Only Comes Once Per Month. No other excuses. Meets every Tuesday night. Don’t come if it’s Cranky Tuesday for you.
…
In this spirit, I’d like to point out the other classes offered at The Adult Learning Center. The series is entitled “Classes for the Esmays.”
Class 1: Talking in Person. Couples will learn valuable relationship skills such as “standing up and walking into the other room” and “using your words.” Couples are encouraged to carpool together, and to leave their computers at home. MWF at 7PM.
Class 2: Passive Aggressive: So Passé. Group exercises such as “don’t beat around the bush, uproot it and use it as a weapon,” and “productive catfights” show couples how to exchange actual blows, instead of cheap shots. Men should bring an athletic supporter and cup. Use the back entrance, and meet at the metal detector at 6PM on Thursdays.
Class 3: You are NOT a Monarch, or the Ruler of the World. This 2-part series focuses on deconstructing delusions of rulership. Topics for women include “Evil is Evil, and Evil is Bad” and “Crowns are Bad for your Hair” and topics for the men include “Rule your Wife… the World Comes Later” and “Dealing with an Evil Spouse.” Men meet Tuesdays at 5PM, women Fridays at 6PM.
Consider yourself “roasted.” 
