The Choice
Is homosexuality a choice, or a genetic certainty? I’ve done the John Kerry shuffle on that question a few times, but my conclusion seems to be solidifying, as of late.
There is a strong argument against genetic predetermination, and that is twin studies. There have been studies done on identical twins (same DNA), where one has grown up as a well-adjusted and happy homosexual, and the other has grown up as a well-adjusted and happy heterosexual. If sexuality is genetically determined, you’d expect them to share sexual preferences, or at least for one of them to be having doubts about their lifestyle.
Yet, many homosexuals profess that they knew that they were different from their peers at an early age. Some were not able to quantify the difference until they gained more sexual education, but some say that they knew as early as age 6 that they were attracted to members of the same gender. This seems to argue in favor of predetermination.
My conclusion, presently, is that there are very strong inclinations for sexuality that are genetic, but that environmental factors and uncontrollable developmental variances can override these inclinations, in some cases. I have no other way to explain the twin studies. I also find that I have to reject the idea that sexuality is completely a choice. Homosexuality is nothing new, and has been socially unacceptable in the past as well as in the present. Why on earth would someone choose to be a homosexual, given the social ramifications of such a choice?
Although I believe that sexuality is malleable, to a degree through childhood, it is pretty much solidified by the late teen years. You don’t hear about many people in their late 20s coming to grips with their sexuality. The age seems to be in the 10-18 range, roughly. Because of that, I think sexual reorientation is doomed to be a very forced conversion. Sure, if you have enough willpower, you can suppress all manifestations of your sexual urges, but those urges aren’t magically going to be eliminated by any sort of therapy. Strangely, the same people who claim that homosexuality can be “reversed” seem to be the same people advocating that the death penalty be applied to all child molesters, as there is no chance of them stopping. Obviously pedophilia is different from homosexuality, in that child molestation involves a minor who cannot, by definition, consent to sexual encounters; but why is it that pedophilia is immutable while homosexuality can be changed with counseling?
Another issue that is debated a lot is how homosexuality is handled or brought up around children. Rosemary Esmay tells of an encounter in the mall with her infant son and an older lady.
“Oh, what a beautiful boy you have.”
“Thank you.”
“He is going to have hundreds of girls chasing him in a few years, isn’t he?”
“Or boys, I mean you never know right?”A look of sheer horror creeped over her wrinkled face, “Why would you say that?”
Because it’s true. Not only that but because I don’t want either of my sons to ever, for a moment, think that I wouldn’t always love and accept who they are, whether by choice, by nature or even by nurture, ever. That’s why.
Quotes wrapped around Rosemary’s dialog for clarity — Mark
Dean’s World: Because
There is no evidence to suggest that parental approval or disapproval of homosexuality has any effect on the sexuality of children. The children of homosexual couples (genetic, or otherwise) are no more likely to be homosexual. The only significant difference is that the small percentage of children of homosexuals who are themselves homosexual tend to be more honest with their parents about their feelings at an earlier age, rather than hide it.
I’ll be honest: I hope my (future) children aren’t homosexual. Not because I’d love them any less, and not because it would at all disappoint me. Being a homosexual is, simply, not as easy as being a heterosexual. There are challenges and obstacles, both political and social, for homosexuals that do not exist for heterosexuals. So it is only for that reason that I hope that my children aren’t homosexual. But if they are, I realize that there is nothing I can do to change that fact, and it is a fact that will not in any way change the love that I will have for my children nor will it change the way I treat my children. I want my children to be painfully aware of two things: I will always love them, and I will never be disappointed by who they are. I can’t promise that I’ll never be disappointed by their behavior… only that my feelings and treatment of them will never change because of some aspect of their being that is revealed to me. That’s what unconditional love means.
