My Social Security Solution
Social Security is in trouble, and the solution isn’t pretty. Benefits will have to go down, taxes will have to go up, probably both. Even if you can invest 4% of your taxes in a private account, Social Security is still a Ponzi scheme with no guaranteed benefits. I want out. So here is my plan:
- Stop paying benefits. Unintended perk: old people rioting is like regular rioting, but with canes, walkers, and in slow motion.
- Stop collecting Social Security taxes. It’s like giving workers an instant 12.4-15.3% raise!
- Use the leftover money for body cleanup. Any leftover money should be used to pay for disposal of all the wrinkled communists who would rather starve than cancel their cable (gasp, and risk missing their “stories”?!). They’re chuckle-worthy when they’re in Wal-Mart talking about the “damn negros” and “queers,” but they have a tendency to stink once they’re dead.
- Laminate all Social Security cards. Because you’re not allowed to now, and it would be fun. Also: carry it in your wallet… that’s forbidden too.
Okay, so now that we’ve had some fun with that, listen up. I’m serious about this. I want out. There is nothing I would like more than to see Social Security become absolutely optional. I would like to be able to sign a form, get back 100% of the money I paid in (I won’t even ask for inflation adjustment), and be done with the whole mess. Why can’t I do that? How much of an effect could I possibly have? Well, not that much. But supporters of the program will never let that happen. Here’s why: they know that if people were given an out, many would take it. Workers would leave the system, but obviously no one collecting benefits would want to leave. This means that more of a burden would be placed on the workers still in the system. “Well shit,” they’d think. “Why don’t I just get out now and cut my losses?” And they would. And soon the system would start running out of money to buy people off (actually, it would run out very early on). People would see that not only is the system of retirement benefits collapsing, but their window of opportunity for escape is quickly closing! There would be a mad rush to get out of the system, and it would die a glorious death. The beauty of this scheme is that the youngest workers, the ones for whom Social Security provides the least amount of promise, would likely be the first ones to get out. It’s like a Ponzi scheme in reverse!
See, Social Security only works if everyone is forced to pay into it. Nice how they force you (at gunpoint… if you keep resisting) to pay into Social Security, but don’t provide you any guarantee of benefits. Thank you, Uncle Sam, may I have another?!
I want someone to explain to me why I should be forced to pay money into a system that will only yield a pathetic 1.82% (0.73% if you are black) return to me, should I live to reach retirement. Why should I be forced to do that? If Social Security provides me with security, can’t I just provide my own security and say “no thanks” to donating to the Social Security system? Well no, because the security of the current generation of retirees is what is actually relevant, and the only way they can justify having people like me pay for their retirement is by promising me that when I come of age, my grandchildren will get similarly fucked. That’s my Social Security: knowing that the children and grandchildren I don’t yet have already resent me.
Tempus Fugit on Social Security
Well said TF.
It would have quite a lot of effect on at least one pensioner currently kicking back with a Pinha Colada by his heart shaped pool somwhere in Florida.
I’d be all for doing away with social security, though to me the optimal procedure would be for a gradual elimination of the program. Find a way for those currently depending on benefits to keep receiving them until they’re gone but don’t allow any new beneficiaries to enter the program.
Just a gradual phase out.
Workers could continue paying enough into the program to support those currently on benefits with gradual cuts in the SS tax until there is nobody left.
It’ll never happen, but a guy can dream.
Bush The Populist
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I’d be interested in seeing a poll result for the following question:
“If you were given the option of getting back 100% of the Social Security tax you’ve paid in to date and opt out completely, would you take it?”
Wonder what kind of yes/no ratio you’d get…
Great post.
Social Security is indeed an unconstitutional ponzi scheme.
Great blog!
Let’s work the Social Security formula backwards … so to speak.
Let’s suppose there are 50,000 students at the University of Florida right now.
And suppose that each of the 50,000 pays $10,000 per year to attend. (I know that is off, but it rounds out well.)
So, the 50,000 YOUNG students pay $50,000,000 to control the facilities of UF for one year.
But real estate value of the University of Florida is $4 billion.
So how come the YOUNG students can control $4 billion in facilities for one year for only $50 million.
Answer: the old farts have already paid the $4 billion and more to build the place.
Seems to me that if the YOUNG want to pay their way, they should pay their way. That would mean it would cost $8 million per year for a student to attend UF.
Social Security formula backwards.
I’m not sure I get your point, Dave. The students can’t “buy” the university every year. Once it’s bought, it’s bought. The land was bought over 150 years ago, and was slowly built up. Each year the students do pay their way. There’s never been a year where tuition has been waived.
Getting out completely would be the ideal solution, but don’t ever expect it to happen in our lifetimes. The Cato proposal has a much better chance of going through, even if Bush has mucked with it a bit.
[...] June 2nd, 2005 A Modest Proposal For Social Security Mark Jacquith offers a fairly reasonable solution for the looming Social Security crisis: S [...]
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Social Security revisited
By Travis under USA , My Vote , Blog Buzz
Tempus Fugit echos some of the thoughts I’ve had for years but puts [...]
Dave, I have to admit I don’t follow your post either. Let’s say that the University of Florida is worth $4 billion dollars (not having access to the actual figures or the accounting background necessary to know if this is accurate, I’ll just take it as a given). Then we have to amortize that $4 billion over the expected lifetime of the University to figure out the yearly “rent”, it certainly wouldn’t be $4 billion a year to use the facilities… I’d guess it’d be $4 billion amortized over 3 or 4 or 5 hundred years minimum, maybe even a thousand years (there are universities that old)…. Al-Azhar University in Cairo, Egypt was founded in 946 AD and is still in use. So, let’s see, $4 billion dollars, amortized over 1000 years for 50,000 students is: $80 a year… seems to me like the students are getting ripped… except economics isn’t accounting and the value of something is not solely based on its asset value but also on the value to the individual in terms of what the asset produces, which, for the students makes it an investment worth around $40,000 or $50,000 in todays funds…
the entire degree that is…
Social Security trustees, claiming that Social Security will go broke in 2041, is bound to fuel the nationwide reno classified ads debate over Social Security. One side, led by President Bush, says the system is in crisis and must kaos pad be saved viaMy “partial privatization.” The other side says the system is basically sound and can be saved with a little tinkering. Both metal bellows expansion joint sides, however, agree on one absolute: Social Security should be saved