Beep beep! “Yo! Where you at?”
I hate push-to-talk phones. They fill me with rage. You know those phones that decided that a loud, distorted rap song ringtone wasn’t quite annoying enough, so they upped the volume, introduced a shrill double-beep between each turn of the conversation, and oh… kept the annoying rap ring tones, for good measure. As annoying as it was to hear one side of the “Yo, where you at?” conversation, hearing both sides, punctuated with shrill beeps, brings it to a whole new level of annoying.
Let me break it down for you losers (who seem to be predominantly male): you’re not a policeman. You’re not a fireman. You’re not even a freaking construction site supervisor. You have no need for a walkie-talkie that broadcasts each transmission for all to hear. Not only are you an unimportant person, you’re a whole evolutionary generation behind the average annoying cell phone user. You are the pinnacle of banality, and yet you think your mind-numbing tripe is actually worthy of public broadcast. I’d kick you in the crotch if I weren’t sure that your lack of descension would result in your pelvic bone bruising my foot.
Carrying such a device marks you as a moron. It is automatically indicative of both a sub-100 I.Q. and a false sense of self-importance. Of course, the sort of people who use such hellish devices are probably not computer users. Most of the people whom I have approach weren’t even aware that they could turn the beeps and the extra-loud volume off and, you know, use their cell phone like a bleeding cell phone.
