“A heartbeat away from the presidency” alternatives
I’ve really grown tired of the phrase “a heartbeat away from the presidency,” used describe the office of vice president of the United States of America. And with bloggers and the media trying their hardest to paint Sarah Palin as inexperienced and unprepared for the office, it’s getting absolutely used to death. Plus, it makes me think about how my own heart could just stop at any second, which isn’t exactly a comforting feeling.
We can do better. Let’s come up with alternatives to “a heartbeat away from the presidency” that still convey the idea that if the president dies, the vice president becomes the president.
Here are my contenders:
- A car ride with Ted Kennedy away from the presidency
- A third-rail urination away from the presidency
- A three-named political malcontent encounter away from the presidency (lets be realistic: this is how our presidents usually die)
- A miscalculated B.A.S.E. jump away from the presidency
- An Abu Ghraib interrogation away from the presidency
- Canadian healthcare away from the presidency (with apologies to my employer)
What do you suggest? Bonus points for humor, political jabs, and cleverness.
Here’s a handful to chew on:
* A misplaced tree on the snow trail away from the presidency
* A non-stop nap away from the presidency
* A humvee ride outside the green zone away from the presidency
* A catfight away from the presidency
* A bad cold away from the presidency
* A clone war away from the presidency
* A day clearing brush away from the presidency
* A Blue Screen of Death away from the presidency
Third rail urination is hard to beat, but here goes:
A badly aimed moose shot away. . . (This one has nice acronym possibilities – “A BAMS away”)
A Cheney hunting mishap away, a.k.a. “a shoot your friend in the face, or other body part, away. . .”