Credit to Sar on this one.
It should be illegal for the parents of a newborn baby to say any of the following things immediately after delivery:
– Happy Birthday
– Welcome to the world
– It’s your birthday
– It’s nice to meet you
– I’m your mommy
Such statements are trite, and completely belittle the importance of the event.
Acceptable alternatives include:
– I’m so glad it’s finally out
– I feel so blessed… to finally have it out
– I don’t want to be naked anymore… fix it
– It better not look like the mailman