Subscribe to Comments 2.0-alpha-3 is available for my alpha testers. Biggest change: options are now set through WordPress options interface, and more things can be customized, including the default “checked” status of the “subscribe” checkbox.
Archives for March 2005
Batteries: Holding us Back
I still maintain that batteries are one of the main things holding back technological innovation. Think how much you could change your lifestyle if your laptop only needed to be charged once a week. Many people could work from the beach. Think how great it would be to go on a vacation and not having to remember to charge your phone the whole time. What if your iPod lasted for more than half a day?
This is a good start, as recharge time has been holding us back, but I still think that batteries are holding us back.
Credit Card Prank
Just what can you get away with signing on your credit card slip? You’ll be surprised, and you’ll probably bust a vein laughing.
WP: Subscribe to Comments 2.0-alpha-5
This post pertains to the alpha test period for this plugin which ran until June 9th. As of June 9th, this code has been officially released and listed in the WordPress plugin repository.
WP: Identify External Links
This plugin has been moved to my code section, here.
WP: Identify External Links
This plugin will add a special CSS class to all links in your entries and in your comments that go to external sites (sites other than your site).
Download
Instructions
Copy and paste the text. Save it in a file named identify-external-links.php
. Make sure there are no spaces before the opening <?php
or after the closing ?>
. Activate it from within the WordPress admin interface. You can then use a.extlink { }
in your CSS to style it.
You can also edit the plugin to make it do other things like add target="_blank"
to external links or to add special things only to your internal links.
Versions
- Version 1.2 Doesn’t apply
extlink
class if there is an image within the link - Version 1.1 Works for subdomains now (thanks h0bbel!)
- Version 1.0 Initial release
WP: All Options Access
WordPress has a “hidden” feature: by going to /wp-admin/options.php
you get to see (and edit) all of the WordPress options… even those that aren’t editable via the normal options pages.
Welcome to the most pointless plugin, ever.
WP: All Options Access
It adds a link to the “All Options” page under your “Options” tab. Yeah… that’s it. Oh! It’s also i18n (internationalized), so if you speak Prof. Frinkeese, it’ll read “All the Options and oy glayben!… Muhoy.”
Download
Instructions
Copy and paste the text. Save it in a file named wp-all-options-access.php
. Make sure there are no spaces before the opening <?php
or after the closing ?>
. Activate it. Marvel at how WP 1.5’s menu addition system can be used for betterment of the human race. Lather, rinse, and let cool.
Jaquith Family Slang
My family is rather large, and tightly knit. We’ve developed a vocabulary of our own, so here’s a lesson.
wizzit – Contraction of “what is it,” pretty much used as a one-word sentence. Origin: John Paul Jaquith.
lelf – Expression of excitement or desire (though not necessarily sexual… you could “lelf” over a car or electronics). Origin: David or Stephen Jaquith.
runka – Expression of raw animal excitement… usually sexual. Origin: noise made by little doglike creature in Return of the Jedi (in Jabba’s palace).
MarWhy – Mary (Jaquith). Origin: teasing older brothers.
lunt – Musical noise played when morbidly obese people walk… the tune sounds like Little Rascals music.
fleh – (also “flenh”) expression of discontent or uncaring. Also has a sense of “right back at you!” e.g. “John Paul, chew with your mouth closed.” “Fleh! You chew with your mouth closed!” Origin: unknown.
ahoy – similar to “fleh,” but usually implying that you think the person is mentally retarded. e.g. “You were supposed to wash, and I was supposed to dry the dishes… ahoy!” Origin: Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam cartoon where Sam is stranded on an island and sees Bugs wash up on shore. “Ahoy, rabbit!” he yells, and this was misinterpreted as an insult by either John Paul or Mary. Sometimes used in its original “ahoy, rabbit” form, with the person’s name sometimes added after “rabbit.”
yoikes – mocking expression, said in a high wavering voice, indicating that someone is overreacting to something. Origin: one morning in church, John Paul was asleep on the pew. Someone gently tried to move him over a bit and he flailed in his sleep saying “yoikes!” (a variation on “yikes”). Very similar to sound made in “Scooby Doo,” but this developed independent of the show.
blork – used to indicate when something or someone that makes you want to barf. Origin: Stephen (?). (Thanks Mike! I can’t beleieve I forgot “blork!” Ahoy, Mark!)
blau – pronounced like “bl” + “ow” (as in, the noise you make when you get hurt). Blau is used to signify a loud outburst by an authority figure, usually in a disciplinary context (and usually by our father). It works as a verb as well as a noun (e.g. “I played video games when I was supposed to be doing yard work so dad blau’d me.”)
Does your family or circle of friends have any slang that isn’t really used outside that circle? Go ahead and share the list, and send a TrackBack to this entry!
Yahoo buys Flickr
Yahoo buying Flickr? I’m trying to remain optimistic. Hopefully it will be a money thing more than an influence thing.
Ten Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong
This has been circulating on the internet as an e-mail, and I came across it via Ace Pryhill.
The Top Ten Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong
- Homosexuality is not natural. Real people always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
- Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
- Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
- Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still aren’t supposed to marry whites.
- Straight marriage will be less meaningful if homosexual marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
- Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Homosexual couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
- Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
- Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in North America.
- Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
- Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
Internet Forward
WP: Subscribe to Comments 2.0 Preview
Not everyone has such active commenters on their blog that a return after 10 minutes will reveal numerous responses. If your blog is anything like my blog, comments on an entry might take place every couple of hours, over a few days. Because of this, the Subscribe to Comments plugin by Jennifer at Scriptygoddess has been a lifesaver. When leaving a comment, users are given an option to subscribe to that entry’s comments, and will receive e-mail notifications of replies. The plugin was written soon after the release of WordPress 1.2 Mingus. Although the original work was Jennifer’s, several others, myself included, have contributed to the code, adding features and fixing bugs. Jennifer has become unable to maintain the code as of late, due to personal factors. I’ve sort of taken the code under my wing, and have been giving it a little TLC, cleaning it up, and adding features that people have suggested in the last year.
What follows is a breakdown of the changes I’ve implemented so far (subject to change):
WP: Gravatar Signup
This plugin has been moved to my code section, here.
On Bacon
I love bacon. A lot.
And I’ve just now discovered that if you cook some bacon in a frying pan first, and then cook chicken, there will be enough grease from the bacon to essentially deep fry your chicken. See, even after you’ve eaten it, bacon continues to bless you.
Update: I don’t recommend doing this in my underwear. Er… your underwear.
Spam Karma Hack: Spam Leftovers
Read the update, this has been put in the latest version of Spam Karma!
One of the changes in WordPress 1.5 is that comment spam isn’t actually deleted when encountered by the built-in anti-spam measures, it is silently stored in your database and marked as spam. It won’t ever show up on your blog or in the interface, but it is there if you need it.
Spam Karma is the best 3rd party anti-spam tool for WordPress. When Spam Karma encounters obvious spam, it deletes it. Why not keep that spam in the database, marked as spam, as WordPress 1.5’s built-in anti-spam measures do? The benefits of this are twofold. First, if a legitimate comment gets caught by Spam Karma, you can easily restore it, as it is still in the database. Second, future versions of Spam Karma or WordPress may make spam decisions based on the known spam you have stored in your database, so eventually this could increase your blog’s ability to recognize spam.
The first change you need to do is in Spam Karma. In the Spam Karma plugin file (/wp-content/plugins/spam-karma.php
) delete this line (it is line 2173 in SK 1.19 alpha 1):
$wpdb->query("DELETE FROM {$wpdb->comments} WHERE comment_ID = {$comment_ID} LIMIT 1;"); // kill the nasty bugger...
In its place put this:
$wpdb->query("UPDATE {$wpdb->comments} SET comment_approved = 'spam' WHERE comment_ID = {$comment_ID} LIMIT 1;"); // save as spam
Save the file and upload it to your server.
Now, for restoration of false positives, you need a way to access comments marked as “spam” from within the WordPress interface. This capability comes via an excellent plugin from ColdForged called the Paged Comment Editing Plugin. Drop this little beauty into your plugins folder and activate it. Now, by going to Manage -> Comments in the WordPress interface, you will be able to display comments marked as spam by clicking “Only Spam.” To restore a legitimate comment that was erroneously marked as spam, click “Edit Comment” and change its status to “Approved.”
Mmm… spam leftovers.
Update: I put this hack, as well as several fixes for full WordPress 1.5 compatibility into a new version of Spam Karma, and it is now available. Go get it! Note that the Cold Forged plugin is still of use for “undeleting” comments.