These things have been annoying me lately:
- Retrieving your ATM preferences…
When I put in my card at the ATM, I get this message. What preferences? My ATM wallpaper? My “please take your money” personalized ringtone? There is really only one preference that it should be saving… my language. Guess what the screen says after “retrieving your ATM preferences”… Yeah, it’s the English or Spanish prompt. - A McGriddles
McDonald’s wonderful McGriddles breakfast sandwich is made slightly less glorious by the television ads in which the actors refer to a single McGriddles sandwich as “a McGriddles.” As in, “I would like a McGriddles.” Buh. Makes me want to reach for “a McBarfbags.” - Guaranteed up to…
There are ads on TV where they honestly say that the product is “guaranteed to be up to 10 times more [whatever]!” Wow! And I’m guaranteed to have up to $20 billion in my wallet right now! You’re guaranteed to weigh up to 5,432 lbs! Rosie O’Donnell is guaranteed to have up to 47 chins! Your new car is guaranteed to get up to 20 times more miles to the gallon!
GRAH! Deep breaths… deep breaths.
Mike says
You know what annoys me? When people say, “Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too.” Of course I want to eat it. What good is a frikin’ cake if you can’t eat it?!?
Oh, here’s another gem. “It’s always in the last place you look.” Are there people who keep looking for something after they found it? Ridiculous.
Mark says
Heh… well the “have your cake and eat it too” thing would better be said “keep your cake and eat it too.” Meaning that you want to eat it, but you want it to still be there after you’ve eaten it.
But that “always in the last place you look” one is spot on, and I’m surprised that hasn’t occurred to me before!
IO ERROR says
Yeah, they got rid of the old BofA ATM, and the new one sure enough retrieves my customizations, whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean. It can’t even remember if I speak English or Spanish!
THX says
My ATM language & “preferences” could be encoded on the mag strip of my ATM card, as opposed to retrieved from some big remote database.
Favorite advertising hokum: “Nothing’s been proven more effective at whatever than our product !” As in, “We can’t legally say Tylenol works better than Advil — but we’ll clumsily imply that by saying that Advil can’t prove it works better than Tylenol.”