This is the eulogy that I wrote (with David’s help) and read at my sister Mary’s funeral.
Mary was a sister. Mary was a daughter. Mary was a friend. But most of all, Mary was our inspiration to be better people, better children, and better brothers and sisters. Mary was the kind of person that everyone aspires to be. She was happy, and no one could take that away from her.
Mary was far too young to have left this world, but she exhibited in countless ways a maturity that even after several decades most people fail to attain. Though she always remained innocent, she didn’t feel the need to construct a fantasy world. She saw the world as it was, and was content to approach it with a practical mind.
Mary also had no time for small talk. She couldn’t understand why people would choose to squander their time with things of little importance. There was simply too much to be done. Too many books to read. Too many horses to ride. Too many lives to forever brighten with her cheerful optimism.
Mary didn’t speak ill of others, and she was always quick to gently counter those who did, graciously providing an example of the goodness of the person in question.
While there was a lot that I had yet to teach Mary, there were so many more things that she had yet to teach me; so many more things that she had yet to teach all of us. Lessons about humility, kindness and honesty. Lessons about purity, optimism and gratitude.
Mary was special… unique. She was the type of girl that boys wouldn’t even attempt to pursue romantically… they’d know instantly they weren’t good enough for her. Mary’s perfection made everyone else’s imperfection impossible to deny or ignore. And her example made the path to similar perfection seem obvious and attainable. But though the path to such perfection is simple and clear-cut, it is anything but easy. Mary worked tirelessly to reach that highest level of virtue. Her efforts were clearly visible, especially within the last year of her life.
Mary had the type of mind that could have easily led her to look down upon the rest of humanity as failures. She possessed enough physical beauty that she could have easily put herself on a pedestal and pointed out our imperfections from a safe distance. But no… Mary chose humility. Mary chose to be quietly perfect.
Mary’s faith was never loud, but it was always evident and it was unwavering. It was a simple faith. She loved God, she knew God loved her, and she wanted to make God happy by living a life of virtue. Her faith was communicated to the world by her actions. God’s love was demonstrated through her by the way she treated everyone she encountered, and especially by the way she treated her family.
She was always so obedient. My father never had to ask Mary to do something twice. Even when she didn’t like the decisions he was making for her, she knew that they were made with her best interests in mind. She was very aware that he was there to guide her as she blossomed into a beautiful woman. We all helped share that responsibility — we would joke that any boys would have to get approval from every one of us before they’d even be able to approach her.
Mary did everything with her mother. They were more than a mother and a daughter to each other. They were best friends. They rode horses together, they shopped together, they even liked a lot of the same music. The barn was their secret clubhouse. It was the one place they could go without having the boys intrude on their girl time.
Mary’s uniqueness was also noticed outside our family. Mary’s same-aged friends noticed it. “Mary is different from the other girls,” one remarked. And Mary had a profound influence on her friends, helping bring them through hard times and helping them mature as she did. Mary’s maturity made her an attractive friend to people ten years her senior. Her older brothers’ girlfriends would rather spend time with Mary than with friends their own age.
There is no doubt in my mind that Mary is watching down on us from heaven right now. After so many years of her being our precious pearl that we protected, it is now her turn to watch over us.
Sar says
You are amazing. I’m so proud of you and I’m so proud to be a part of your family. I love you so much.
Patient of Dr. Jaquith says
Your father touches so many lives and I ache for him and your family. I’m so sorry this happen. Maybe someday we will understand but for now only tears and time will lesson the pain. Thanks for posting her picture. She was beatiful and will be a wonderful addition to heaven.
Our prayers are with you.
From a past patient of Dr. Jaquith
Julie Strong says
Mark,
my heart, mind and soul have been with you and your family throughout all of this. I wish there was something i could do to alleviate the pain you must be suffering… I can promise that you will all remain in my prayers forever. The eulogy was amazing; I have so much admiration for your entire family for bearing this tragedy with such steadfast faith. I know you will get through this together, and Mary will be watching you from heaven with pride. if there is anything at all that I can do, please dont hesitate to ask. as an angel on earth, mary led people to God by her example; as an angel in heaven, mary will bring people to God through her prayer and personal request. we were all blessed more than we knew by having her in our life, even for such a short period of time. God bless you, Mark.. and the rest of your family. I’ll be thinking about you, and praying for you.
Julie
Dave says
Mark,
I doubt there’s anything I can say that would be even remotely appropriate for this, but I nonetheless wanted to tell you how terribly sorry I am to read this…
Of course, the smallest thing I may help you with, don’t hesitate to ask…
Firas says
Wow, I’m so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you.
Alex says
My thoughts are with you…
David says
I did not know Mary, but for what I have read and see, I really wish I would. Either way, the news and reading has brought up tears. Sincerely. No words to convey, my respectful silence, head down pray and solidarity.
michael jaquith says
mark, Your eulogy beautifully captured who your sister is.
semper tuus, dad
Amanda Smith says
Your sister had such a sweet, gentle spirit.
Thank you Mark for your beautiful tribute.
fangel says
/me joins in on the choir of people saying “My thoughts are with you”. One should never have to experience such a loss..
Jo Lynne Navarro says
Mark,
I just wanted you to know that your delivery of the eulogy was perfect. You touched so many of us at the service. I am grateful for the opportunity to read this on my own and relive the beautiful life of your beloved sister. My heart goes out to your family. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Joey Brooks says
I was so sorry to read this. Such a thing should never happen. I too lost a sibling, just a little over a year ago, now. No one should have to go through that sort of pain. If you need to talk, if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask, just catch me on IRC (this being tunicwriter). My thoughts are with you and your family.
Mirielle Gibbs says
Mark- You and your family have my deepest condolences. I too lost a son who was 19 six years ago. It gets a little less painful each year,but the pain will never truly go away. Pray unceasingly and know that Mary rests in God’s arms now. If you would like someone to talk to, don’t hesitate to call MaryJane at Pregnancy Solutions. My web address is at her disposal! Always in Christ Jesus, Mirielle
Armen says
I just trust that you’ll experience God’s peace that passeth all understanding (Phil 4:7)
Isabelle Poinsot says
Dear Mark,
I did’nt know your sister, but now I feel I’ve met her, and it’s a beautiful feeling because she was somebody wonderful – as you seem to be in your family, thanks to God. I wish you to live all your life in all this faithful light. Many many thanks to have so well written.
Alan Kellogg says
She was young. Believe me, 13 is young. 13 year old boys are obtuse and oblivious. Give her a year or two more your dad would’ve been chasing them off with a mace (and not the spray).
A good face, attentive, mischevious. We lost a beauty in the making.
Allana Marchand says
Mark, I don’t even know what to say. I miss you all, I miss Mary. She is one of the most special people I have ever known, and I hope my brothers have such wonderful things to say about me when it’s my turn to go. I also hope I am in as good a shape as Mary when God calls me home. The eulogy was beautifully done, and I was much heartened by the beautiful readings and Gospel. Your family is giving the most amazing example of faith and courage, and I am just humbled and inspired by each one of you. I love you all, and am praying for you all many times during the days and nights.
Rob Callander, Melbourne, Australia says
Ahhhh Mark
There are no words
As someone who has only dropped by on occasion to peruse an ‘American Republican’ perspective from an erudite and intelligent author – I am over-whelmed with the sympathy I feel for you & your family at this tragic and untimely loss.
I spent the Australian summer entertaining my 13 year old Canadian cousin & her younger sister (their mother has been like my sister). She was infuriating, exasperating…and utterly wonderful. I cherish all the moments we had together.
As you must of your time with Mary. Try not to think too much of what might have been; but remember all those moments you had together – the hugs, the smiles, everything.
In a very real sense she will always be with you.
My sympathy to you and all your family.
Rob
Ozh says
deepest condolences and sincere solidarity from another fan of WP and of your work. This is so sad.
Michael Galante says
Wow! After reading your post about Mary, I feel the loss of not knowing such a special person. Thank you for sharing such a personal moment. God Bless you!
bill says
what up babe?
Nik Cubrilovic says
Mark, I am really sorry to hear about your loss, your eulogy was very touching. My deepest sympathies to you and your family,
Nik
carlitos says
I too lost a sister at a young age, and it is so hard that words cannot convey the feeling. My prayers are with you and your family.
Christi Brown-Turk says
I have to say I was lucky to have known Mary (and the entire Jaquith family). My mother (Sophie) was blessed to be a part of their lives, as was I. My heart is with you all, I
will miss Mary and will always remember her with love and admiration. What an amazing young lady she turned into. My heart and love are with you. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your family for so many years. I am blessed to know you all.
jayme ackroyd says
mark,
i just wanted to let you know how much your eulogy for mary touched me. i am so inspired by your family’s faith! i only knew mary when she was much younger and rode at topline farm with your mom and john paul, but it sounds like she stayed as sweet as she was back then. your parents and your family have always been an inspiration to me and as i now am starting a young family of my own, i strive to give my kids the same closeness and strong faith that your family has so powerfully shown. i know you don’t know me, but i just wanted to thank you so much for that!
jayme
Orderer says
I am so sorry for you, Mark. There are no words to console you, but I hope you feel better soon.
Emelita says
I just happened to stumble upon this site for the first time and I wanted to tell you how beautiful of a site it was. My sympathies for your loss. My boyfriend’s 16-yr old sister died in a car wreck in Feb. so we can feel and relate to your loss. I will pray for you. Have faith that she is an angel in heaven now and God will be by your side through this time. Take Care!
VIKKI says
IT WAS A PRIVALEDGE TO BE MARY’S FRIEND!!!
SHE IS EXACTLY THE TYPE OF PERSON I DREAMED OF BEING.
Autumn Gwaltney says
Dear mark, Im feeling for your pain right know. I miss her very much also. I wish we could still here her laugh and see her smile. I love you!
Love Autumn
Danno says
I came looking for contact information to get a hold of you and saw this post. I am so, so sorry to read this news. I might be the odd man out here (being somewhat – but not fully – agnostic) but I do believe that we will get to see everyone again on the other side. Whatever one wishes to call that place, or whatever that place may be; part of me down to a cellular level truly believes that. You will see her again before you know it. Tempus fugit. Until then, I wish you and your family strength Mark. Sincerely, Danno
Zana Gavin says
To the Jaquith Family,
I am so sincerely sorry for your loss. I know how it is to loose a love one. I didn’t know Mary at all. But one day her best friend Victoria Miller told me that she had an accident and she past away. She was almost in tears. From what I have read I see that she has very blessed parents and that she is a very blessed child. For her to be out of your presence right know must be hard for all of you. I wish you all the best and may God continue to bless you. Don’t cry about her death live on her life. She is watching over all of you and wish you all the the best in life.
God bless,
Zana Gavin
Mary P. says
I came across this site, searching Mary’s name. I am writing a letter to your mother right now. She sent me a wonderful gift, three belongings of Mary and a picture, along with a letter. This is Mary P., your parents being my Godparents. I am printing the eulogy out and hanging it on my wall. It is so nice to read it and hear it, so long after the funeral. Mary was exactly as you described her, if not better. She was always happy, and the one time I saw her every year, I was not sad, but joyous around her. I miss Mary so much, and I know you and your family and her friends do too. Yours and David’s words are truly the most touching thing I have ever read or heard. Mary was a beautiful, kind girl, and if I didn’t know her, your words would tell me exactly who she is and was.
Congratulations on your marriage.
Mary P.
Colmcille Gardner says
All of Mary’s “fans”: Mary was a Messenger of what is GOOD. God is GOOD; Mary Angela was, is and will be a messenger of God, an angel. (etymology of “angel”) Please keep her always in your hearts, occasionally in your minds, speak of her to your children and their children. Mary was a wonderful manifestation of VIRTUES. May her virtues live on in the Jaquiths’ lives.
CR Gardner says
May God continue to bless you Jaquiths!!!(with kindness, gentleness, forgiveness and gratitude…the “Spiritual Vitamins”). What an inspiring eulogy… It will always stick in my mind and heart. A 15 yr. old girl, Sarah Lynn Higdon died in a snowmobile/auto accident a half mile east of our house this week. She was a bright, gentle person from the article in the Petoskey paper, a classmate of my son, also. Thank you for spreading the SUNSHINE of Mary Angela’s soul throughout the world. Know that your spitual orientation/salvation isn’t established at age five, fifteen or fifty, but that you have need of spiritual food always; love God more than your partner, Mark and Sarah! AMDG CR
Wendell E. Jaquith says
I did not know Mary, but we share d the same last name.
I was unable sto find a reference of her branch of sthe Family in sthe Jaquith Family of America, published in 1982.
Family members please respond. I’d like to update sthe record.