Healthcare.gov and Impossible Family Structures

In which I attempted to sign up with healthcare.gov and was stymied by its apparent inability to grok the structure of my family (consisting of me, my wife, and two sons).

https://twitter.com/markjaquith/statuses/392464263174160384

https://twitter.com/markjaquith/statuses/392466002782732288

https://twitter.com/markjaquith/statuses/392469741195255808

https://twitter.com/markjaquith/statuses/392471980844535808

https://twitter.com/markjaquith/statuses/392472257005887488

https://twitter.com/markjaquith/statuses/392472380448071682

https://twitter.com/markjaquith/statuses/392472602037747712

@markjaquith Given how genetics work, your family is *definitely* going to need healthcare.

— Bryan Jones (@bdkjones) October 22, 2013

https://twitter.com/markjaquith/statuses/392474162885042176

https://twitter.com/markjaquith/statuses/392475388271923201

https://twitter.com/markjaquith/statuses/392480770725793792

Live chat transcript:

[10:18:00 pm]: Thanks for contacting Health Insurance Marketplace Live Chat. Please wait while we connect you to someone who can help.
[10:18:03 pm]: Please be patient while we’re helping other people.
[10:18:07 pm]: Welcome! You’re now connected to Health Insurance Marketplace Live Chat.

Thanks for contacting us. My name is Mark. To protect your privacy, please don’t provide any personal information, like Social Security Number, or any other sensitive medical or personal information.
[10:19:37 pm]: Mark Do you have any questions that I can help you with?
[10:20:30 pm]: Mark I seem to be stuck in some sort of redneck family relationship loop.
[10:21:37 pm]: Mark It thinks my wife is my grandaughter, my second son is my first son’s father, and that my wife is the sister of my sons. And now it thinks that one of my sons is his own brother. And also possibly his own legal guardian.
[10:23:53 pm]: Mark I’m also considering the possibility that you are actually me, from the future. Pretty sure time travel is the only way to resolve this neatly.
[10:24:33 pm]: Mark you can call the marketplace at 1-800-318-2596 and they can help you resolve this issue.
[10:24:41 pm]: Mark I apologize for the inconvenience.
[10:25:24 pm]: Mark Thanks for your interest in the Health Insurance Marketplace. We have a lot of visitors trying to use our website right now. This is causing some glitches for some people trying to create accounts or log in. Keep trying, and thanks for your patience. You might have better success during off-peak hours, like later at night or early in the morning. We’ll continue working to improve the site so you can get covered!
[10:26:56 pm]: Mark Do you have any other questions that I can help you with?
[10:27:44 pm]: Mark Nah. I’m probably going to have to talk to my wife and a really clever geneticist to answer my other questions. Thanks!
[10:27:53 pm]: Mark Thank you for contacting Health Insurance Marketplace Live Chat. We are here to help you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
[10:28:24 pm]: Mark thanks for the laughs, you have a great since of humor about the whole thing.
[10:29:27 pm]: Mark 🙂
[10:29:37 pm]: Mark Thank you for contacting Health Insurance Marketplace Live Chat. We are here to help you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
[10:29:40 pm]: ‘Mark’ has left the chat session.
[10:29:42 pm]: Your chat session is over. Thanks for contacting us, and we hope we’ve answered your questions. Have a great day.

@markjaquith Thanks, now I have the I'm My Own Grandpa song stuck in my head 🙁

— Marie and the guys (@KMarieMW) October 22, 2013

https://twitter.com/markjaquith/statuses/392481032089636865

https://twitter.com/markjaquith/statuses/392481849861500929

https://twitter.com/MacManXcom/statuses/392482742123773952

https://twitter.com/markjaquith/statuses/392482956562157568

https://twitter.com/markjaquith/statuses/392485379020193792